wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
