i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
