The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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