sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
