Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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