This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
