You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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