I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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