so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
