u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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