Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
