So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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