I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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