roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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