think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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