It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
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I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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