do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
