went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
