I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
