Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
