I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
