The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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