when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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