I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
is that a dick in a sweater?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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