im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
