it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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