wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
