You made me cry and you don't even care
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
