I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
