I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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