I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
