Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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