ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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