Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
