I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
its not stalking. its research.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
