Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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