I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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