She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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