Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
