Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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