Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He felt like a one man threesome
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
