if you like me you must not know who I am
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
