Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
