I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
as a side note pls kill me
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