My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i believe in u and ur pee
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
