It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
