The maid of honor just puked.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
