no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
