Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
