I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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