my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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