Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
