found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
