maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
