How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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