this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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