Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize