when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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