I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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