no, he came in my armpit
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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