eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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