is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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